Things That Make Us Madder Than They Should: Hangers Misbehaving Disobedient hangers are instigators. You know when you’re swiping through shirts and an unchosen one slips off the hanger and falls to the ground? I always blame the hanger and become frustrated with its lack of commitment. I assume it hasn’t embraced its job or simply thinks it’s too good for the service industry. Maybe it just wants “out of this dump.” But here is some news, Hot Shot … you’re a wire hanger, bought as a set of 10. You gotta crawl before you ball. Let’s start with shoring up your shirt-holding skills, then we’ll talk. How about when two hangers get hung up with each other? When did this courtship start? I doubt this union is even legal in all states. Was there some hanger wedding I wasn’t invited to? I can see that invitation now: “Come Hang With Us As We Celebrate Life in the Closet” It’s maddening trying to get one down when it won’t let go of its friend. I get frustrated and want to show it who’s boss—but don’t—because I really can’t get it down. I also have irrational anger towards hangers that swing out when I pull something off—and stay there, hitched up—not swinging back into place. Why am I so mad? I normally come in peace. Getting Trapped In The Sheets You know when you’re changing positions too carelessly while trying to get comfortable, and you somehow end up laying on top of the sheet … and you become trapped? You’ve tugged and writhed but you’re super stuck? Infuriating. You’re a grown person who can lift a Fiat if needed—should a piece of fabric unravel you this way? Should we be this mad about pulling the sheet out from under our back? Isn’t it always made worse by a puzzled, unsupportive onlooker? “What are you doing? What’s wrong?” “What’s wrong?! I’M TRAPPED!” Your Purse Falling Off Your Shoulder It’s happened to every person who’s carried a purse or bag on their shoulder. Your hands are full and you have to unlock a door or reach down for something and your purse aggressively slides off your shoulder—finding its resting place in the crook of your elbow—where it is NOT welcome. Enter: outrage. Poor moms out there. Maybe you handle the fury better because your purse falls daily as you negotiate a baby carrier and backpacks. I’m curious though … when your child wants to hold your hand, doesn’t it automatically create an arm slide your purse can’t refuse? Does the purse ever just slide from your arm onto your child’s arm? Sweet, sweet victory. “Hey, you wanna hold Mommy’s hand—and purse?” The only time our anger is truly warranted over the purse slide is when it actually empties itself in public. All bets are off. Angry tears are legal here because now you have receipts, make up, coins and pens strewn about. You better believe those belongings get thrown back in and man-handled. You’ve never hated your lip balm or Ibuprofen with such fervor. Leaving Your Glasses On When Pulling A Shirt Over Your Head, Causing Them To Become Askew Maybe it’s just me. I only wear glasses for maybe an hour at night when I take my contacts out. But when some sort of apparel change leads them to the top of my head—or worse, they come completely off and get lost in the clothes—I actually feel true anger. But why? I’m not blind. All I have to do is put them back like a civilized human being. So why does such a small thing awaken my normally non-existent temper? It’s absurd! Imagine if someone saw your pursed lips and scowling face as you straightened your shirt and roughed up your glasses. “You ok? You sure look mad.” “Uh, YEAH. My glasses moved from the bridge of my nose.” Cell Phones Dilemmas These are only two of the many mobile phone annoyances in existence. You know when a call drops—so you’re already irritated—but then you go to call the person back and it goes straight to voice mail, because they are also trying to call you back? Why is this so maddening? Please tell me I’m not the only one who wants finds this infrustriating (that’s a frustrating-infuriating word sandwich that I’m not ashamed of). I don’t talk on my iPhone a lot, but when I do enter into a phone-talking relationship with someone, I troubleshoot that business right away. “Look, if at any time we get cut off or the call drops, the rule is that the one who originally called, calls back. If you didn’t make the first call, don’t make the second.” Next thing. You know when the other person is having phone issues and they can’t hear you (but you can still hear them), so they start saying your name really frantically? “Anna? Anna??! ANNA!!!” This just about does me in. Why so panicky? Do you think I got abducted? Let’s all just take a deep breath and follow call-back protocol. Bad Drivers Who Aren’t Immediately Threatening Your Life I really do understand being annoyed by bad drivers. But if it’s just something you’re watching from afar, you probably shouldn’t get as worked up as you do. “Are you KIDDING me? Look at this joker just LIVING in the left lane?! UNREAL!” Don’t you get so fired up watching a car weave in and out and pass from both sides way more than you think is appropriate or safe? Are you mentally harming that driver with your bare fists? Yeah, I am, too. But should it really make us as mad as it does? I’ve passed people before who were not driving to my satisfaction, only to see they were talking on the phone—and it makes me 4x madder than I already was. I think the problem with getting so mad at other drivers is that no one is innocent or without guilt. Even the best, most courteous drivers commit an occasional foul. But I know, we’re still enraged to witness such highway lawlessness. A Few Things We Have Every Right To Be Mad About: A lost sneeze. It’s on its way, you’re welcoming it and clearing a path for its arrival and it crawls back up. Come baaaaaack! Let me love you! When the string of your iPod earbuds get hung up on something—violently ripping them from your ears. That doorknob or armrest is now public enemy #1. When you can’t get your home printer to print. “Could somebody bring me my sledge hammer, please?” When water runs UP your arm and into your sleeve. You’re officially beaten and defeated. It’s a wrap. Cyclist in the way of traffic. I know, I know—they have a right to the road, too. That has never stopped me from thinking things. I have 3 choices here: wait patiently, speed by making as much noise as possible or … never mind—I’m too ashamed of my thoughts. A cricket in the house … somewhere. Cricket 1: You 0. I’d love for you to join me on Facebook … it’s good for your health.