life
Uniting In Fury: Vol. 4
The fourth installment of Uniting In Fury is upon us, which may have you thinking I just sit around mad all the time. I don’t. I’m usually standing. 1. When hair is anywhere but on a head. Healthy hair is a beautiful thing, until it’s on a table—or in your ravioli. It goes from, “Your […]
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I Must Confess
A lot of times, I don’t like what—seemingly—everyone else on the planet likes. Bacon, for instance. I’m not in the “bacon makes everything better” camp. I’m in the bacon-overwhelms-everything-with-bacon-flavor camp. I can see y’all reacting like this already: I know; I’m used to it. That’s the same reaction someone has when they find out I […]
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I Am Not Fit For Calamity
I Am Not Fit For Calamity. How do I know this? The power in our house went out for two hours (in broad daylight) and I reexamined my whole life. I like to fancy myself a resilient and resourceful go-getter; but that assertion got tested and destroyed just a few minutes into this misadventure. For […]
Read MoreSay What?
I make every attempt possible to never say never. I even outlined my reasoning behind this ongoing personal goal here. But this is different. Even though I don’t say things like, “I’ll never get a bad tattoo” or “I’ll never leave the oven on” (for fear of eating my words), I’m relatively certain you’ll never […]
Read MoreWhy I Have Trust Issues
Overall, I’m not a distrusting person. I actually trust people wholeheartedly—trust that they’ll annoy, dismay and fascinate me. I rely, with confidence, on my instincts, and feel I’m a good judge of character. But I can’t deny the fact that I do I have some trust issues—and I have a pretty good idea why. 1. […]
Read MoreNip Tuck
Cosmetic surgery is overrated. While smaller noses and bigger boobs have their place in society, neither contribute directly to the mission of creating a harmonious, cooperative world. A co-worker with calf implants won’t make the work day easier, but you know what will? A co-worker with common sense implants. Enter: Character Surgery. Imagine the possibilities. […]
Read MoreThe Thoughtful Olympics
I love thoughtful people. To me, it’s one of the best qualities a person can have, so it’s not surprising that most of my favorite people are very considerate. My idea of thoughtfulness goes well beyond the usual stuff. It’s a given that you should consistently do the remedial stuff: pick up after yourself, say […]
Read MoreClouding The Issue With Logic
Do you have a problem solver in your life? No, I’m not talking about someone who tackles the logistics of a trip or troubleshoots a circuitry problem with your garage door opener. I’m talking about the person who—when you say, “Brr, I’m cold!”—suggests you put a jacket on. You do, don’t you? So do I. […]
Read MoreMy Missing Gene
I don’t have the gene that makes me enjoy feeling scared. My sister used to call me a titty-baby. On one hand, it’s one of the more hysterical names a person can be called—if you really think about it (and its possible origin). It’s also wholly inaccurate in this instance, because I wasn’t even nursed, […]
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